When Friends Go Through Trials Pt1

       I don't need to say it. The only thing worse than going through something awful, is seeing someone you love go through it. I don't know about anyone else, but my tolerance for pain is much higher when I'm the one afflicted, versus one of my friends. Fairly recently, I had a dear friend go through something that took them a little bit farther than what they were ready for. Are there words to describe how terribly and powerfully I wanted to take away their pain? Had I the opportunity to suffer in their place, I'd have done it faster than the clock could comprehend. Were there a way to take away their memory of some truly horrid events, their mind would be a bright place...and I'd have fallen asleep believing I'd done them a favor.

       We all have to face adversity. It builds character, makes us stronger, even allows us to prove to ourselves that we're as strong as we like to say we are. I look at that friend everyday and yes, I do have to swallow hard and try to move past the bitterness that builds whenever I remember everything they've gone through. A rage and sadness finds its way through my bloodstream when I see them struggling because of the actions of others. That said, there's something very special about this person. They seem to be able to do anything, they have a special compassion, and a fundamental understanding of the most important parts of life that I wish I could match. I hope I'm more like her as time passes.

        This took me a second to understand, and I still struggle to accept it...but we have to let our friends struggle. I know, I know, I hate it too. However, there is something we can do. We can remind them they're not alone, and not forgotten. I'd rather get on someone's nerves by telling them how much I love them all of the time, than ever let them think for a second I was just their fair-weather-friend. We can treat them like we normally would. They're already very well acquainted with the issues they're facing. Our struggling friends don't need our worlds shattered too-especially, not for their sake. However, what they could use is some normalcy. Offer them some part of their life that has some consistency! Who could our loved ones count on, if not us? Most importantly, don't forget to give them your honesty. Let your cards show, when all signs point to defeat. When I had a friend struggling to accept and believe in their self, they came to me in a moment of deep depression. As we sat alone and talked, I heard the defeat in their voice. I felt helpless and desperate to make them feel what I felt for them. I said, trying my best not to cry or break for them, "I would give anything to make you see yourself the way I see you, or feel the love I feel for you". I can't say this statement completely turned their life around. I can say, it felt like some of the pain had gone away. If nothing else, my words absorbed some of the shock of their broken heart, and for that ability I will always be grateful.

       Friendship is what gives life meaning. Were it not for friendship, we'd all be pouting about, lonely, only to rely on our own feeble strength. There will never be a day that goes by, where I don't feel filled with gratitude for all of the wonderful memories I've had with the people who have come into my life. Even when it comes to friends who have come and left my part of the universe, I think of all of the people who've left their mark on me, and I'm absolutely blown away by them. We are all so powerful, especially when we're around the people we love. Let's all keep creating, sharing, and expanding that love. Stay strong for the people you love, they'll have your back too. I promise!