The happiness challenge was designed not to solve everyone's problems, but to help guide and give an edge to everyone on their journeys to self-empowerment. My goal was to provide others with tools to help them cope with things like anger, anxiety, resentment, loss, and other "big" emotions that can be hard to process. Reading the responses from my readers and talking with a couple in person, I was incredibly grateful to hear just how helpful they were! I'm grateful for all of the moments of happiness and success you all experience, truly.
I, myself, am very lucky to have become so focused on this when I did. There were some pretty moments that popped up in the middle of this, and I'm glad that in my pursuit of teaching others to be happy, I was able to maintain my focus as well. I absolutely believe that we are all awarded in our efforts to support others with the support we need, ourselves.
What I've gained:
There's so much I've gained. While newer physical things have popped up into my life, like this cute boy who happened to be my first high school crush is back in my life and I dig it, and I got to be around people who are so dear to me again...but, I think I've gained more emotionally. I've been able to keep focused on what motivates me. I remembered in the heat of the moment that I refuse to be controlled by fear. I've impressed myself with my boldness, and I've continued to come more into my own.
I'm so much more confident in who I am and what I can do, now. My identity as a strong, loving, smart, capable, compassionate, nurturing woman has only become more solidified. I'm an older sister, a teacher, the kind of person who's more than willing to spend time sitting and counseling with others. Some of my natural gifts are empathy and seeing things a little more clearly for what they are and how I play into everything.
This security has relaxed my mind and enabled me to learn so much more. Have you ever run into those moments of relief that you didn't even know you needed? Remembered to relax your shoulders and realized how tense you'd been? That was my brain these past thirty days. I'm no genius by any means, but I'm a pretty smart girl. I'd been so stressed out and mentally paralyzed recently, I felt like I was losing some of my talent and knowledge. I was scrambling to remember words in other languages I'd studied and turning up empty. I couldn't remember some of my favorite fun facts. My advice well was hurting, I'd go to tell someone something and end up overwhelmed and lost in thought out of nowhere. Regaining my footing and focus on happiness and gratitude smoothed all of this out, and I'm very glad about it! My creativity is flowing easier now, and I feel more myself.
What I've given up:
It was not without grit teeth and tightness in my chest that I gave up some of these things. For a small few, there are delicate threads they left behind still in my hands. However, I've given up a few toxic people. I let go of a few particulars on what I demanded out of life when I realized I'm happier with a few substitutes (not to mention safer and smarter and generally all around better).
I think that's what surprised me the most, of all of the things I let go of; that whole idea of what it was going to take for me to feel like I was where I really wanted to be. I'd known that one of my many imperfections was that I was still clinging to a couple of ideas of what I wanted out of life. There were very specific things I wasn't letting go of. There's a difference between loyalty and stubbornness, and I'm very aware of which is which, but that doesn't change anything. Going into this, I expected to be happier, but still clinging to all of the same things. It's always a happy surprise to make little bits of improvement, and to really move on from something is a relief I can't even put into words.
In short, the moments we take to invite joy and progress always end in something good.
I absolutely believe that no efforts are made in vain. Everything will either work out fine, or it will deliver you straight to where you need to be for something that will honestly make you glad you never settled for what you wanted in the first place. I hated hearing that, because I didn't want to hear that there was a possibility that I couldn't have the very specific details I thought were key to me being happy. Let me tell you, for those of you who tense up at that thought, that the only reason particular things don't come to pass in our lives is because it won't serve us the way we thought. Sometimes, our ideas of what will satisfy our desire to feel fulfilled are actually incorrect. Life will always follow the course that rewards our hearts the most, and it's not our job to understand it, only to be grateful.
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