I've lived in three different states here in the U.S. and have received medical care of varying qualities. I've had a gynecologist with a doctorate's degree order a blood test and then have no recollection of ordering the blood test at my follow up appointment (WHAT?!) and an angelic midwife who provides hour-long appointments and explains everything in an easy to understand way. I have a pretty good idea of what a good medical care provider vs. a bad one looks like. I wanted to take a moment to outline the differences and help my readers determine if they're in good hands.
The Good
You feel heard.
Whether you're going for your annual checkup with a general practitioner or a cleaning from your dentist, paying close attention to your health is crucial. Healthy bodies provide us opportunities to handle our responsibilities, explore the world, and create beautiful, fulfilling lives. When you're explaining your symptoms or elaborating on what "normal" means to you, your physician should be attentive. Good signs that you're being listened to are they ask you questions for clarification, take notes, and explore treatment plans with you. My best provider ever stayed focused on me when I answered a question, gave me answers without making me feel silly, gave me options on how to proceed with treatment, and made me feel valid as I explained preferences or concerns.
They follow through.
If for any reason you need some sort of follow up, be it to go over lab results, receive some sort of exam, or check up on how well a treatment is working, the doctor should be on top of it! They should have some sort of list of things to look for such as signs that you need to come back in (or visit the ER), signs of improvement, and notification of common side effects if applicable. Obviously, they should remember why they had you come into their office in the first place when you attend that follow up appointment. They should be available if you have any questions later and provide some sort of line of communication.
They're Intuitive and humble.
Good doctors follow their hunches, and they're open to learning new things. Medical science is an ever-evolving field. New technologies and breakthroughs are being made all of the time! You will naturally be researching how to optimize your health from time to time and may run into alternative treatment ideas or lifestyle changes that pique your curiosity. Your doctor should take the time to research whatever idea you've presented them if they aren't already familiar with it and discuss with you why you should or should not pursue that treatment, lifestyle change, etc.
They respect you as an equal partner in your health.
Receiving medical care of any kind, from oncology to mental health and anywhere in between is a partnership between you and your physician(s). You know your body and your mind and what it feels like to be you. They know their professional training and experience. Both of these elements need to be combined in order to achieve optimal health. A good doctor will respect your intuition, provide you with information, and ultimately allow you to be the captain of your own ship. They should treat you with respect and provide you with sources that back their claims. While you should respect them and be mindful of avoiding paranoia, irrational behavior, and general misinformation, they should be patient with you on your journey.
The Bad
They throw diagnoses and prescriptions at you left and right.
No blood tests or detailed exams, but got a crazy diagnosis? That's a little sketchy. I've had a doctor tell me I had endometriosis without even performing the proper exam to confirm it. The diagnosis was based strictly on the symptoms I described to her (terrible cramps that would take the breath out of me, heavy irregular periods, etc.) She then prescribed me a birth control that made my life so much worse. After that didn't work, she said "oh, you must just have PCOS then" and switched birth controls. No tests involved. Your doctor should be thorough before giving you a diagnosis. So many different conditions overlap each other's symptoms! If your doctor is only engaging in conversation and nothing else, you may want to go looking for a different provider.
They're lazy and not engaged.
I went to a different doctor than the one I previously mentioned complaining of the same symptoms. She didn't seem to be listening very much when I was talking. The whole time she was organizing instruments, texting on her phone, and buzzing about. At the end of the brief appointment, she said, "google IBS. You might have that." I almost fell off the damn table. Your doctor should not be having you turn to the internet and self-diagnosing. They also shouldn't be doing other things during your entire appointment. You shouldn't be paying anyone to be told to try to google.
They try to counsel you on things outside of their expertise.
Recently, after informing my psychiatrist that I had been diagnosed with Hashimoto's since our last appointment, she told me that making changes to my diet wouldn't help my thyroid and that my midwife needed to prescribe me with levothyroxine. Not only has my change in diet already improved my thyroid by leaps and bounds, but the midwife and I both agreed that we're not interested in starting me on any new prescriptions until we see what my "new normal" is after my body adjusts to the new way of eating. That psychiatrist is a good person and had the best intentions. That said, when she continued on about how I can't make my thyroid better on my own, I felt incredibly defeated. For a few moments, I'd forgotten the progress I had already made and wondered if I was going to be damned to a life where I take multiple prescriptions. Regardless, the doctor I have managing my thyroid knows what she's doing. I knew the results I'd seen already. That psychiatrist did not.
They don't respond to updates on your health.
Going back to the interaction I had with that psychiatrist. I had mentioned the Hashimoto's diagnosis and diet changes so that she would determine whether or not she wanted me to go off of the Prozac. The entire appointment had really been an experiment for me to see whether or not she was being responsible with my health. I'd already gone off of Prozac as my thyroid regulated and I realized it was no longer necessary. My psychiatrist continued to push the Prozac. I could have understood if she dialed down the dosage. I would have preferred that she'd have engaged in conversation with me about whether or not I felt the medication was even useful anymore. She did neither of those things. Your doctor shouldn't push prescriptions that you feel aren't helping, especially without having a conversation about it. Sometimes they know something that we don't about prescriptions and going on/off of them. That information needs to be relayed. Regardless, they should be adaptive and honest when things need to change.
The Bottomline
Your physicians should have faith in your body, they should listen to you and respect you, and they should be an empowering partner. If you feel ignored, belittled, or otherwise just not vibing with your provider, you should look into seeing someone else! You do not need to fight with a doctor to get proper care, and you should never feel helpless when it comes to your health.
I hope you all feel immense peace as you maintain your health!
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