Finding a Peaceful Place
We're all in this together!
I was asked about what to do when the pain is just too great and painful, negative thoughts seem to be unavoidable. In short, the answer was, "find a peaceful place". Here are some ways of doing that:
Focus Wheel: On the side of a page, write down the bad feeling(s) you're experiencing. Then, at the center, write down the opposite emotion of that. For example, if you're having a hard time getting over loneliness, write "loneliness" on the side of the page, and in the center, write "secure" or "loved". From there, continue to write down positive words and experiences that remind you of those positive, healing feelings.
Start Where You Are: If you're currently hung up about a person, this one is most helpful. If you can't think about something/someone without getting angry, feeling hurt, etc. visualize the most positive experience you could possibly have with the situation/person. As you work at it, you'll continue to think of more positive thoughts, and get right back to feeling happy!
Practice Mantras: I often repeat terms like "trust", "allow", "let off that gas pedal", and "let's deal with that later". Find something that reminds you to stay in control or calm down, something that brings you back to focus, and repeat it to yourself in the heat of the moment.
Feel your feelings, but don't wallow in them: It's perfectly fine and healthy to respond emotionally to various events that come to pass. If you need to cry, cry! If you need to feel exasperated, that's fine, too. Occasionally, we run into some hard times and experiences. Let yourself process and take your time! That said, don't cling to it. You'll know it's time to move on when you start to feel yourself choose to be sad/feel like a victim/be angry/etc instead of it being more of a reflex/reaction.
Focus Wheel: On the side of a page, write down the bad feeling(s) you're experiencing. Then, at the center, write down the opposite emotion of that. For example, if you're having a hard time getting over loneliness, write "loneliness" on the side of the page, and in the center, write "secure" or "loved". From there, continue to write down positive words and experiences that remind you of those positive, healing feelings.
Start Where You Are: If you're currently hung up about a person, this one is most helpful. If you can't think about something/someone without getting angry, feeling hurt, etc. visualize the most positive experience you could possibly have with the situation/person. As you work at it, you'll continue to think of more positive thoughts, and get right back to feeling happy!
Practice Mantras: I often repeat terms like "trust", "allow", "let off that gas pedal", and "let's deal with that later". Find something that reminds you to stay in control or calm down, something that brings you back to focus, and repeat it to yourself in the heat of the moment.
Feel your feelings, but don't wallow in them: It's perfectly fine and healthy to respond emotionally to various events that come to pass. If you need to cry, cry! If you need to feel exasperated, that's fine, too. Occasionally, we run into some hard times and experiences. Let yourself process and take your time! That said, don't cling to it. You'll know it's time to move on when you start to feel yourself choose to be sad/feel like a victim/be angry/etc instead of it being more of a reflex/reaction.
Get Around Positive Things and People: If there is a movie that cracks you up, put it on! If there are people who make you feel happy to be alive, visit them! Whatever raises your mood, don't hold back from doing those things!
Ask For Help: If you're really struggling to feel happy, or are feeling deeply troubled about something, don't be afraid to reach out to someone you love and trust and talk to them about what you're going through. Thanks to friendship, we don't have to rely on our own strength! Often times, those closest to us can help us shift our perspective. Open up!
Practice Self Care: Whether this means taking extra time to do your makeup, clean your space, etc. you need to do it! When we take even five minutes to do something kind to ourselves, our lives get much better! Take care of yourself!
How I'm Personally Fairing
I'm always grateful for the funny moments that come to pass in my living room. I'm also grateful for the fun times that happen in other obscure places, such as the taco bell drive through! All in all, I'm doing pretty well with this challenge. I'm not going to lie, there's someone I'd really love to offer some cruel words to, and that definitely gets the better of me sometimes. I've really been trying to focus in those moments, and I'm pretty happy!
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